my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
