we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
