hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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