she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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