Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
