Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
