you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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