No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
