i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
