Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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