That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
wow bdsm is so cute
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
