i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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