Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
