its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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