Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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