apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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