i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So squirting runs in the family.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
