Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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