NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
