i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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