the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
