I'm jealous of your bromance
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
