jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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