just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
