RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
