I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
