Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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