TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
