I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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