Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
