i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
