Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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