Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
