Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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