What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
