I met the friendliest cop last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
