Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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