Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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