Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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