I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
