she was so not down for the gang bang
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
