would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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