The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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