Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
