Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
