whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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