Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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