No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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