so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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