You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
