allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
