Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
