My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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